Now is 3:12PM, 21/2/2011.
My flight to Taiwan is only 16 hours away.
我真的一点都不兴奋诶。好夸张。
我觉得我好像还有很多事情没有完成，好多东西没有做好，很多人还没有见到面，很多事情还没有说出来，总觉得不对劲，好像什么事情会发生一样。好白痴，我又不是不回来了，可是心里没由来的就是慌。我好慌。不知道到底是怎么了，心好不安，每天胡思乱想细胞都快死光光了。
我不再确定今年是不是对我很重要的一年，我当然知道它应该是，也绝对是。可是就是没有了信心。我真的不想承认是婆婆的事情影响了我，可或许是。我看我把动力给弄丢了。
我好害怕去台湾，明天的飞机来得太快，转眼我就站在宝岛的土地上了，可是心里就是不踏实，我不会觉得我在的地方是台湾，我会以为是坐了过头的火车，把我带到没有人烟的地方。现在的台湾好陌生，我好怕我联络不到朋友还是每个人都找不到我。现在的感觉就像是127里边的男主角那种要说服自己接受死亡的感觉，好可怕。心好慌！=(
哎呦，我不知道该怎么办啦，怎么办？？？？讨厌咯！不知道去那边会发生什么事 =/
我还没有跟弟弟找到补习诶，还没有打理好心情去台湾，虽然知道不是去玩的，可能就是因为不是去玩的所以才压力这么大？是吗？我好希望不是。我没有害怕去学习，我或许是害怕会来的时候会发生什么事。我突然对自己好没有信心，这几年的努力好像都白费了。是交了朋友的额关系吗？我真的不知道，我该怎么办？这个只能自己帮自己，讲了也没有用，也不会讲，不懂怎么去解释，也没有人会真的了解事情的真相。好讨厌，讨厌现在不知道在讨厌什么。
看今晚是不用睡了。等下还要出去。好多事情还没有完成，真的。我不想逃避，可是越逼自己越想逃，什么都做不好。我觉得自己算是休息够了咯，到底发生了什么事？好多事情好像一次过爆发，爆得让我喘不过气，好难受，不能呼吸，感觉不管深呼吸几次都不够。
我不会是又想到那边去了吧？真的有那么需要依赖吗我？？靠人人跑，靠树树倒，靠自己最好！你这个笨蛋白痴傻瓜！最好不要了！送你都不要！王八蛋！好想把脑袋切掉！酱就不用烦了！乌龟到死！嗨哟！不要想了！！！我不要！我不要！！我不要！！！啊！！！
好想去海边！=(
好想说不去台湾了，我真的完了。我不可以被我自己给毁了！好想听老师们讲话可是不知道要听哪一片CD....好讨厌！成功者成功前，不可以做成功者成功后做的事！要记得！！！成功者成功前，不可以做成功者成功后做的事！！！不行！我不可以！！疯子！
我坐在电脑前呆呆的看着一直在闪烁不停的符号，感觉好像掉进了深渊，没有床在下面等着我的感觉。恐怖咯！我不要！！！！
Do today what others won't, so you can do tml what others can't!! Don't think so much, just do it! I believe in myself! I can do it for sure!!! Faith Faith!!!!!I must have Faith!!!!!! Whatever is going to happen, it will happens, just let it be, don't care so much, just let it go, let it flow and it will be fine! I promise it will be fine!!! And I will be away!! No..I am not gonna away after that, I don't know!!!
I always wanted to go away but this time I really don't feel like doing so, like seriously, N.O. NO! NO NO NO!!
But I have to!! Everyone is waiting for me there already! Everyone is hoping, everyone has faith on me! I can't lose it!! This is just part of my journey, just go, just walk, you will be fine. Everyone is facing the same thing, I am just too exaggerate about it!! Yes, I think so. Yes, everyone faces the same thing! It's only about this, nothing changes, nothing changed. Keep holding on! No Prince is coming to rescue! Don't expect Don't depend Don't hope and Don't look!! ">___________<"
EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE, And Big Bang is always there. Always look at the bright side! Everything things will be gone and the sun will rise again tml morning. Don't think so much, just do what I suppose to accomplish. Not a big deal. I just need to re-transform my dream, and build up my own Lego. Set a SMART and HARD Goal!! Specific, Measurable, Achivable, Realistic and Time Bound. Heartfelt, Animated, Required and Difficult!
I am doing fine, I just spout everything in one post and that's all. I am fine! I will always look forward to Thailand's leaderr!! You guys are my Great Great Example!!! I am so thankful that I knew you guys! Thought no one is gonna know about this but yea..
I am going to buy TONS of books back to SG, if it's too heavy just ship back I don't care! A lot of things to look forward in Taiwan also, actually it will be a very memorable trip to my life, I stupid think too much. STUPID -.-
I will be taking Lots and Lots of photos and videos!!! I will enjoy the trip! I will not want to come home, hahaha! Silly me. =P
Everything is fun, and I am going to organise many trips again!! ;) This is life, hahaha!
Counting down, 3 days. I can't wait for Big Bang's new songs now!! I am so glad I am in Taiwan for this reason hahaha! I am gonna get lots of goodies back!!!! Whatever album! Hahaha! I missed Se7en's showcase, I missed everything. But I don't mind. If the things is yours, it will come back eventually, just too think so much, you life is not only about them, hahaha!!
Okay, this post is too long, I shall stop here. See, lot more English already right? Hahaha! xD
See you after 16 days! :) And I will bring my life back to SG! :)
P/S I think I might go back to Penang not long after I come back....=P
Love you Big Bang!!!! Byee~!!! =DD
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